7 Famous Zombie Killing Weapons That Would Get You Killed

[Ragnarr]

what if you wore a sausage link around your neck.......perhaps not! lol Hmm... I think that would depend on if it's a Jimmy Dean or not. The high cholestrol and transfats might slow the zeds down somewhat I would think.

[Darksider18]

I agree that guns are a little over-rated but... Lets put ourselves in this scenario. Your on your roof, and you have run out of supplies and food and in immediate need of more. BUT you notice from your rooftop that there are over 50 zombies in your way. What are you gonna do? Use a silenced sniper to clear your way a little? Or take a baseball bat and get eaten from all sides whilst attempting to swing it? Bear in mind you would be fatigued since your in dire need of supplies and food. Weapons would help ALOT in situations.

[Ragnarr]

I agree that guns are a little over-rated but... Lets put ourselves in this scenario. Your on your roof, and you have run out of supplies and food and in immediate need of more. BUT you notice from your rooftop that there are over 50 zombies in your way. What are you gonna do? Use a silenced sniper to clear your way a little? Or take a baseball bat and get eaten from all sides whilst attempting to swing it? Bear in mind you would be fatigued since your in dire need of supplies and food. Weapons would help ALOT in situations. I guess that was the point I was trying to make with my "golf club" analogy. Different situations call for different tactics... and weapons. What toolbox contains only a hammer and nothing else.

[Sammich]

I agree that guns are a little over-rated but... Lets put ourselves in this scenario. Your on your roof, and you have run out of supplies and food and in immediate need of more. BUT you notice from your rooftop that there are over 50 zombies in your way. What are you gonna do? Use a silenced sniper to clear your way a little? Or take a baseball bat and get eaten from all sides whilst attempting to swing it? Bear in mind you would be fatigued since your in dire need of supplies and food. Weapons would help ALOT in situations. In this case I would find something heavy and relatively unbreakable. Attach to some rope or electrical cords tied together. Then drop on zombie head, pull back up and repeat as necessary. Nice, quiet and doesn't require unncessary energy or risk. -- -------- Post added at 06:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:12 PM ---------- Here is a video for those who still cling to the "you don't have to aim a shotgun" myth.

[Wyldwraith]

Yes you have to aim a shotgun. I say, so what? For its size, it is EASILY the most effective ballistic weapon to not only terminate the undead, but if necessary incapacitate them as well. Sidearms are wonderful, but anyone who thinks a sidearm can do the job of a shotgun in a Zombie Apocalypse, I have an experiment for you. Find your nearest rundown abandoned building thats roof wont fall in on you, or the floor collapse the instant you step inside. Then lay out a couple fistfuls of raw hamburger and settle down to wait. In the dark. Stay standing mind you, that's important. Now, when the creepy ass sounds get to be too much, or you've had to shake and/or pull more than one squirmy squeaking/shrieking thing off you, flip on your Uber Flashlight and do your best to eliminate the CARPET of RATS before your weapon runs dry. See what I mean? Rats are (arguably) tons less dangerous than Romero-esque zombies, but even something the size of a sneaker IN NUMBERS SUFFICIENT TO MAKE THEM DANGEROUS makes obvious the need for something that can unleash an assload of destruction in a confined space in a hurry. Shoot a zombie dead-center torso from 10ft and short of some of the major hand-cannons whose ammo supply would be ridiculously hard to maintain you've done nothing. Same shot at 10-15ft AIMED with 00 buckshot or a slug and you'll likely inflict enough spinal damage to create a twitcher. Kneecap the deadheads and you can outcrawl them. Is anyone saying a shotgun should be your PRIMARY weapon? Of course not. But a shotgun is a helluva mechanical advantage to have on your side when you've gotta move, GOTTA MOVE NOW, and need the undead cannibalistic beings in your way to be out of your way, and oh yea, while you're dog-assed tired from just being chased 16 straight miles for the last 4 hours with no longer than a 5 min rest. Most people in our generation CAN'T WALK 15 miles and still have the energy to either a) Sprint a few hundred more meters to potential safety immediately after walking the 15 miles, or b) Inflict white brain-matter penetrating head trauma with a blunt weapon, or decapitation with an edged on more than TWICE, and twice only running on adrenaline. Same person won't be busting 2 more heads the next day, assuming they survive. Yes, guns have their flaws in a zombie apocalypse. But to paraphrase: "I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it." Edit: Check out the Link to that Cracked article, about the 5-7 bugs to most avoid. Check out the video of the 30 Japanese Giant Hornets vs an entire massive beehive. It's chilling.

[Ragnarr]

@Wyldewraith: Here here! Well said, brother! -- -------- Post added at 07:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:43 PM ---------- In this case I would find something heavy and relatively unbreakable. Attach to some rope or electrical cords tied together. Then drop on zombie head, pull back up and repeat as necessary. Nice, quiet and doesn't require unncessary energy or risk. -- -------- Post added at 06:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:12 PM ---------- Here is a video for those who still cling to the "you don't have to aim a shotgun" myth. I agree with your "gravity bomb" (something heavy on a rope) released from a roof top for taking out a crap load of zeds one by one. As far as "aiming" a shotgun, it's more of a generalized aim than say a rifle or a pistol as you well know. If one were to say that you DO NOT have to aim a shotgun, the poor soul is likely missing a foot or a hunting buddy due to that belief.

[Wyldwraith]

Thanks Ragnarr, I too agree that in a Dawn '04-remake sort of situation, ie: The classic "Carpet of Undeath" that the old cinderblock-on-a-rope is an admirably effective means of inflicting serious skull trauma over and over, and over again with next to no expenditure of resources if you have the time. I've advocated this method myself in various threads. That said, I think some people take the Brooks-ites and TWD gun-phobia a bit too far. We talk a lot about this or that author, or this or that individual or group of individuals lacking practical experience with X (where X is the weapon/technique under discussion)...but I contend that 99.8% of the people currently alive have very little understanding of the force required to cause a depressed fracture of the skull (driving parts of said skull deep into the brain), or outright penetration of the skull (with say, a pickaxe). One of the few non-crap pieces of info from the Zombie Combat Manual concerns how one should practice cracking a skull. It goes something like this: First, take a green coconut, wrap it in a couple layers of cloth, then put it inside 2 garbage bags and roll those bags around the roundness of the coconut until you have something shaped vaguely like a human head or a speedbag. Next, suspend said wrapped-and-bagged coconut from a rope or somesuch at about head level. Finally, select your Zombie Killing blunt weapon of choice and strike the coconut as hard as you possibly can, and keep track of how many hits it took you to break into the coconut. Then realize that you're gonna need to hit a skull about +20% harder than that to do equivalent damage. So, when you're regularly caving the sides of padded green coconuts in, switch to using padded Duran-fruit. (The fibre-covered awful-stench-when-opened exotic fruit). A Duran, padded and suspended in the same manner as the green coconut can be considered anatomically equivalent in protective properties to the skull of a recently dead and reanimated ghoul. Note: Penetrated Duran-fruit will also help you begin to acclimate to fighting while being subjected to mind-blowingly-foul stenches, as it stinks so bad that its actually illegal to open one INSIDE *anywhere* frequented by the public in countries where it grows. In those terms, I would guess there are at this moment MAYBE *3* people on this site who could smash open 5 padded Duran-fruit with 5-8 blows in under 10 minutes, while circling and never ceasing to move at least at a fast walk during the entire process except for the moment of each strike. *I'm NOT ONE OF THE 3*. That being the case, and since being eaten sucks, if I can't flee successfully (unlikely with a back bad enough I'm LEGALLY taking 300mg of Oxycodone DAILY) I'm going to shoot the bastards, because realistically, it would be my only viable means of terminating a ghoul. IRL a Zombie Apocalypse would be short, unimaginably brutal, and wipe us out as surely as a N.E.O the size of Delaware striking this planet.

[Ragnarr]

@Wyld: lol Awesome to hear that someone else knows about Duran! While I never actually smelled its inards, I know enough about its unpleasant effect on the olfactory nerves to refer to it as "poo-fruit" (somewhat akin to the odor of dirty diapers for those of you wondering what they smell like). They say it tastes really sweet and juicy, but you'll need a Tic-Tac or 50 when you get done eating it. As far as practicing effective head strikes with clubs et al, that's something I do often with the medieval reenactment organization I'm involved with. We wear 12-14 gauge steel helmets because our rattan weapons are being swung at full force and would definitely kill an unprotected fighter. Once again, I'm a firm believer that a zed survivor should have several weapons with him/her when moving about; something to whack the zed in the head with AND something to (BLAMO) put a hole in it at distance. Hmm... think I'm going to "pull a Daryl" and price some crossbows this weekend.

[Thorn]

lol You sound as if you were one of my medieval reenactment brothers! I agree with polearms being used in team situations. I've encountered opponents who even at intermediate skill still knocked me on my arss using them. I would reckon using shields would be tricky; if you were using a hoplon or a heater shield (2 point grip, hand & forearm) it would be better suited for pushing (a la Greek Hoplite tactics) but if a zombie were to grab the shield, your arm may not be able to slip out fast enough and become trapped (trapped = you're the zombie's lunch). A single grip shield with a center boss would be great for punching zeds in the mush as well as blocking, and you could easily release the shield if you needed to. The Xiphos (spartan short sword) I'm not convinced would be the most efficient melee weapon for fighting zeds. They're great for stabbing the living at very close quarters, but unless you used it to thrust upwards under the zed's chin and hopefully into its' brain, I don't see it stopping them much. Any bludgeoning weapon (mace, hammer, pipe, club, bat, etc) coupled with a single grip round shield would be the way to go IMO if used as part of a five man team. I like the trident idea though. One good stab and you can keep the zed at distance while your buddy wonks it on de'haid! Exactly and the type of shield would be critical, if it required two hands that person is effectively just a pusher/blocker. Depending on size there is exposure, but you could wear other items to safeguard hands and elbows. The Pjalanx worked well to push their foes back off their position the dead would topple well I think. It is of course up for debate, I just love the pole arm idea, and in my time with SCA I learned early on the damage pole arms can do, working to pin, create space and rely on another to deliver the killing blows where needed could be just the thing in short bursts. I agree with the others guns have a place in your arsenal they would have to IMO, but yeah. You need a variety of weapons, no one is perfect I really feel that way.

[Ragnarr]

@Thorn: Ahh, you know of the SCA then. Very kool. The problem I'd see with phalanx tactics against undead would be that toppling them doesn't remove the threat. They'd only grab and munch on the phalanxer's legs or at least grab their legs as the phalanxers attempted to walk over them. Also as you likely know from your SCA exposure, if you do a shield pass to the right of a right-handed sword & boarder, he'll need to turn into your pass or risk exposing his backside (wrap city). If someone using a heater shield (2 point grip) had that outside shield edge gripped by a zed, I think he'd be in trouble. Again, I'd stay with a center grip shield like a buckler or even a viking round shield. You can still block, you can still push (ask any roman legionaire), and of course you can always pop the zed in the mush with the center shield boss. A broken jaw would seriously reduce a zed's attack capability unless it can somehow gum you to death.

[Mike70]

this is the single best line in the whole article: Anyone who doesn't enjoy a Resident Evil movie is an idiot, because they knew exactly what they were getting into before they watched it. i'd prefer quieter weapons in killing zombies over firearms. sure, i'd want to have guns handy but only as a last resort. noise seems to draw zombies like fresh elephant shit draws in dung beetles. another reason that i think people who want to keep dogs in a zombie outbreak are destined for nothing but death. also your average gunshot is about 160 decibels. that sound could travel as much as 10 km under the right conditions. my close in weapon of choice would be an Easton bomb bat. it's not going to break nor wear out anytime soon. you can generate great speed with it meaning an impact on the skull is going to do major damage. it won't get stuck in wound and doesn't have to be reloaded. the problem that the vast majority of bladed weapons would have is that they would most likely become stuck in the zombie's head. not a good thing. the major problem i'd have with swords is that the majority of the classic ones: the roman gladius, the greek xiphos, are designed as thrusting swords, to stab up and into an enemies' vital organs. not too useful against zombies. -- -------- Post added at 11:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:20 PM ---------- The problem I'd see with phalanx tactics against undead would be that toppling them doesn't remove the threat. phalanxes are only good against targets directly in front of you. they have zero lateral mobility, cannot defend themselves from side or rear attacks and would only serve to push tasty human tartar together for zombies to feast on. you seem to know a bit about the classical world. that's cool. i'm a classicist by education. nice to have someone else around besides evilned who knows what the hell a hoplon or a xiphos is and hasn't gotten their ancient history from watching "300."

[Ragnarr]

@Mike70: Yeah, I dig ancient history in general and ancient warfare in particular. The fighting I do these days with the SCA (medieval reenactment group) helps to keep me lean, mean and ready to take on any ravenous hordes of undead with my stylin' collection of rattan weapons. Well, with those AND my trusty shotgun. Just to give you an idea of SCA combat... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5JaQq2Dakg

[Wyldwraith]

Something that's bugged me for a long while, I can understand why a relatively near (within or almost within a possible sight-line to the shooter at the time of the gunshot(s)) could draw zombies to the shooter. Loud noise stimulates zombies to look about for potential prey, and they then lock-in on the shooter. Fair enough. The problem I have are zombies well outside of line-of-sight homing in on gunshots. Yes, if you're fairly close your hearing can SOMETIMES provide you with the general direction of where the sound originated. However, general direction and homing in on a shooter that was half a mile away like an undead human-seeking missile has never made much sense to me. The average human being couldn't locate a shooter going by the sounds of 3-6 gunshots in rapid succession, and they have brainpower to help them solve the problem. Good example: The empty (except for zombies) streets of Atlanta when Rick rode in on horseback. All those skyscrapers/multi-story buildings would, in the absence of the regular sounds of the city, echo and bounce around a piercing noise like gunshots until the reverberations seem to be coming from MULTIPLE directions. Similar to echoes in mountainous areas. I've got no problem with nearby zombies investigating a sound for possible prey, but it just seems weird that ghouls which their creators insist are mindless instinct-driven animated cadavers do a better job of homing in on the true location a distant sound originated from than thinking human beings. Also, while I understand a zombie investigating something like the thud and cursing under her breath Andrea caused in the RV bathroom, why would a faint "boom" in the distance = possible prey to a mindless creature? If that were the case there would be crowds of zombies flocking to stand under power lines in response to the loud "Kaw, Kaw" of crows sitting on the utility lines, or a huge crowd of zombies homing in on a building with a working generator as the thermostat caused the outside AC unit to suddenly kick on? See what I mean? There are tons and tons of noises that occur either naturally or as a result of abandoned human habitations/population centers degradation. (5 years into the Zombie Apocalypse, when a 3-story building's support-structure has been corroded by standing water getting in through breaches/leaks in the roof until it finally collapses. Would this extremely loud echoing sound of a large building falling in on itself draw tens of thousands of ghouls to the twisted pile of building materials that remain?)

[Mike70]

i think that any sound that reminds zombies of humans will draw them in. guns, dogs barking (an animal that cannot be tolerated in a zombie outbreak), machine noise from things that might still be active, car alarms going off. any kind of noise associated with people would cause them to home in. human ears are much better at tracking sound than you might think. hell, the threshold of human hearing is about a billionth of atmospheric pressure. you hear much faster than you see. again, your average gun shot is about 160 dbs. under the right conditions sound that loud can literally travel kilometers. the human ear responds to the widest range of stimuli of any sense. don't ever dismiss a person or zombie's ability to home in on sound. we are actually quite good at it. -- -------- Post added at 11:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:59 AM ---------- T *I'm NOT ONE OF THE 3*. That being the case, and since being eaten sucks, if I can't flee successfully (unlikely with a back bad enough I'm LEGALLY taking 300mg of Oxycodone DAILY) I'm going to shoot the bastards, because realistically, it would be my only viable means of terminating a ghoul. damn man, sorry to hear that. i see the angle you are coming from much better now. you need lots of ammo and a flag to plant for your last stand.

[Ragnarr]

Yeah, the TWD writers seem inconsistant with zombie abilities at times. I thought the same thing as you during that RV scene where Andrea is hiding in the bathroom and that zed found her based on a few suttle noises. Unless of course that zed was also zeroing in on her scent, which I'm sure is sexy. The zeds being drawn to distant gunshot I agree is weird. Gunshot echoes, especially in an urban environment, are difficult if not impossible even for trained policemen to locate much less mindless walking corpses. I can buy the premise if the zeds are nearby (like 100 yards or so), but not if they're miles away. Lastly, yes. If a building corrodes and collapses, the area is sure to look like a zombified version of Woodstock due to the sound of the crash. If zed writers say as much, than it must be so and we must accept it.